Posts by life is to short

113

I just found out that my youngest brother committed suicide

by SnakesInTheTower in

jw
friends

my middle brother called me a couple of hours ago.

our youngest brother, josh, who was 38, was found by his friends in his apartment.

he hung himself.

life is to short

I am just so sorry, word fail me at times like this, but I wanted to add that my thoughts are with you.

LITS

25

Bethel layoff question

by CookieMonster in

hi,.

with the layoffs of bethelites and special pioneers, does anyone know if they get some sort of "redundancy" payout?

.

I can totally attest to it. YOU GET NOTHING! We were in Brooklyn Bethel for 90 Sands and when we left in 1994 it was your out of here. Nothing else. You barley get a piece of paper telling future employers where you were for all those's years. You have to beg for that, and I mean that you have to go to the construction office and ask for it and they they ask why you want it and you have to tell them well we need to find work and having a two and a half year gap will probably cause future employer's to question it, yad, yad, yad. It's totally crazy.

Zappa we were at Brooklyn Bethel in the US. Maybe in other country's but not here. We took a vow of poverty and you get nothing. I remember the very first day when we were just starting orientation and the brother giving it was walking us down to the 50 building to show us somethings. My husband and I were standing right beside him and he told us he was sick of ones coming to Bethel and then when they left blaming Bethel for them struggling financially. I will never forget his exact words "No one made them come and they should have counted the costs" It really, really bothered me but I was so cult induced and told that Jehovah would never let his true worshipers go without that I shrugged off his words but they never left my mind.

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96

Special Pioneer Couple Living at a Kingdom Hall In Miami FL, get the dreaded Letter

by James Jack in

just got a phone call from an older sister saying that a couple that got re-assigned from bethel 4 years ago to live at their kh apartment as special pioneers, just received a letter saying "as of january 2016, your special pioneer assignment will be discontinued".. they live in a south miami kh(snapper creek congregation).. this couple had only served in bethel for 15 years before they were sent out into the special pioneer work.

they are now in their mid 50's and the sister said that they have to find part time jobs to support themselves.. the older sister (does not have a pc or internet), says that the couple are just devastated!

.

life is to short

We served where the need was great when we were first married and we never got any hand outs. I worked 30 to 35 hours a week and put in 90 a month to pioneer. If anything we were dumped on to support others. As an elders wife I got hit up a lot by the poor ones in the hall. I do not know why, most of the JW's I knew always talked about how broke they were and I never did and I think because of that everyone just thought we had money. We always had a car stuffed with the other pioneers who did not want to use their cars in service. We got up to 7 people in our 1982 Honda Civic. It was totally crazy but the other pioneers were willing to squeeze in without seat belts as long as they did not have to use their car and spend their gas. We got our gas tank filled up once in all that time. In all fairness my husband did get $50.00 a month from a brother in the hall before we married who had pity on him. This brother was worth over 2 million and he let everyone know it, looking back that is crazy also. But I never got any help and this brother died a couple of months after we were married. No one ever helped me nor did I want it. I always felt it was wrong to not work for what you chose to do in life. But it did tick me off to haul around other pioneers who lived way better than I did for free.

Than we went to Bethel. When we came back we go no help expect from one brother who let us begrudging stay in his travel trailer for about 6 weeks while we found a place to live and got jobs.

It was hard and scary even though we had been on our own for most of our adult lives in those two and half years at Bethel the world had changed, Rent was double what it was before we went and wages were the same.

The biggest shock to me was how disrespectful the ones in the hall seemed toward us especially the other elders and their wives. Here these elders got up on the stage doing the service meeting touting from the KM that we should give whole soled service to Jehovah, yad, yad, yad, yet here they split out 5 to 6 kids had full times jobs and lived a normal life. It was a life that I wanted but these elders kept telling me this was not the real life and that I needed to sacrifice now and I could have the kids and homes, etc that they had now in the new system. I just never questioned why they were not doing it themselves, I only focused on what they were speaking, thinking it was from Jehovah.

I know, I know, I KNOW it is so stupid looking back in hindsight. How stupid was I? I threw away my life. I gave up the best years of my life to do things I totally hated. I hated being squeezed into a tight fitting car for 8 to 10 hours driving around aimlessly. I hated sitting in a car for hours and hours waiting on my husband in his elders meetings. I hated spending all our money on gas driving around aimlessly. I hated stressing out how we would pay our bills because all of our money went to field service, stressing how we would pay for car repairs which happened all the time because of beating the crap out of our car with so many people in it.

I hated having to have everyone over to feed the speaker and being yelled at for not doing more. I hated being put down all the time, being judged about everything I did because I was an elders wife. I hated not being able to follow my dreams but I kept being told by the ones who were not doing it themselves that it was what Jehovah wanted and I just was stupid enough to believe it and I kept my blinders on like I was told to do and not look closely at what others were doing because Jehovah would judge us each individually and then one day I woke up and I was old and realized that I was stupid and most of the JW's did not do what they touted and spouted.

I am sorry but I just really feel sorry for those who bought into it all like I did. I am not going to help them because I can't but it still does make me feel sad for them.

I also know many of them like the pioneers who squeezed into our car and many, many, many at Bethel who got their praise and glory and ton's of hand outs. I know of one couple who were my age who always told everyone they could that they were Bethelites and that they were poor, etc and they got tons of money given to them. This couple also before Bethel worked very, very well paying jobs and flew to Europe, etc on ski trips, etc. It always killed me when I heard of their begging.

So what I guess I am saying is that there are two class of full time JW's. Some do it purely for the glory and I do not feel sorry for them. But for those who really believed it and lived it, my heart goes out to them.

LITS

96

Special Pioneer Couple Living at a Kingdom Hall In Miami FL, get the dreaded Letter

by James Jack in

just got a phone call from an older sister saying that a couple that got re-assigned from bethel 4 years ago to live at their kh apartment as special pioneers, just received a letter saying "as of january 2016, your special pioneer assignment will be discontinued".. they live in a south miami kh(snapper creek congregation).. this couple had only served in bethel for 15 years before they were sent out into the special pioneer work.

they are now in their mid 50's and the sister said that they have to find part time jobs to support themselves.. the older sister (does not have a pc or internet), says that the couple are just devastated!

.

life is to short

I just feel it's sad, not all of us who gave up our lives wanted glory. I did it because I really felt that is what God wanted me to do. I just think it is sad.

LITS

47

Suicide or Real Freedom? - My Story As One Of Jehovah's Witnesses

by dubstepped in

"sometimes i think the only thing i could do that wouldn't upset someone would be to kill myself.".

those were the frustrated words of my friend as we stood out in his large yard in the country, just about to enjoy a nice bonfire on a beautiful night.

what was it that could have been a lesser evil than killing himself?

life is to short

So well written. You described so much of how I felt, I thought of suicide so often while I was pioneering and I just could not understand why I wanted to die so bad because I was in the "truth" with the happiest religion.

I now understand, though I still struggle with depression and anxiety and probably always will as a by product of the religion.

Thanks for witting such a great post.

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80

ANNOUNCEMENT CLIP ...2015 Annual meeting Sam Herd confirming what we knew a month ago about slow down and halt of worldwide construction

by Watchtower-Free in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_h68ktwpim&feature=youtu.be.

life is to short

wow cult classic that is so sad and yet I know it happens. When we were at Bethel the cut back on the full time commuters, funny how that upset me but I still did not get it that it's a cult. Well there was this one sister who had moved to New York just to work at Bethel and she did not really work. She was just really strange well of course she got let go but she would not leave. She just kept showing up anyway. They extended her leave time at least twice but she still kept coming.

We left Bethel ourselves about that time and she was still "working" when we left. I always wondered what happened. So unlike what Herd said they are not happy about this I can guarantee it.

LITS

21

'Seek the Kingdom First' Economics

by Tornintwo in

jw
friends

has anyone else's family finances been victim to the 'seek the kingdom first' economic policy?.

for years, my husband and i have had our own business, my husband is not the most proactive guy, prefers to go in field service than to work, but he has always encouraged me to 'rely on jehovah and all these other things will be added to you', 'seek the kingdom first' etc etc.

there have been times, such as when i was heavily pregnant and we lost a big deal, that i have been begging jehovah on hands and knees to honour that promise, wondering why he wasn't helping us.

life is to short

I am in the same place. My husband has told me Jehovah only helps when you get to the very edge and have one foot over the cliff and are ready to jump financially. It also mean's that Jehovah will only give you what you need to just exist which means it could be just one slice of bread a day. It would be enough for you to live on and nothing more.

I am not joking that is how he truly feels. I stupidly bought into it. We pioneered where the need was great, other pioneers were buying new cars and parking them two blocks away so as to not get door dings on them and then squeezing their fat bodies into our Honda Civic. There were going to on date nights to restaurants that I could not dream of going to. We never even had date nights as my husband was to busy being an elder.

I got on my knees begging and pleading with Jehovah so many times, crying my eye's out, pleading for help. I had a key to the hall as I was a pioneer and there were times I would go into the hall alone and get on my knees pleading and pleading with Jehovah for help.

Nothing, I got nothing, but I was yelled at by the other pioneers for not having money. That is all I got. It is just so frustrating. Living on one slice of bread a day is just a joke and we have been down to that little at times. My husband just kept telling me to keep my blinders on and focus on the Kingdom. It's hard to when you are watching everyone else have a life in the religion and you are living on nothing.

All I can say is it is just crazy and I truly think it is a mental illness that causes people to think that way. It is not right and if there is a God that is not what he wants from us.

LITS

21

You have to admit, the carrot is pretty alluring.

by John Aquila in

there were several families that were visiting my mom today and i was sitting in and just listening to all of them talk..

they started talking about the recent shooting at the university.

and its so easy for them because all they have to say is;.

life is to short

You summed it very well. I never thought about it that way. I guess that is the very reason I stayed in also. I saw so much wrong, when I pioneered and was at Bethel but I always thought the new system would fix it and the new system was always close. It definitely would come before the year 2000, then it would definitely come before 2010.

Then one day I realized that it was not coming. It was horrible to loose that hope I still feel so empty and I wish sometimes I could go back to that way of thinking but its kind of like realizing there is no Santa Claus once you know you can't unknow it. You are so right that is why I stayed in for so long.

Love your posts and take on matters by the way.

LITS

42

1975 all over again!!!

by John Aquila in

wt study edition jan. 2015.

here is the bait:.

as the number of kingdom proclaimers increases and as we near the end of this system of things, there is an urgent need for more facilities.

life is to short

Oh and I remember one time Don Underwood went on a rant about temporary's expecting help. How the Society was not there to help ones get back to NY to work, and that the ones in charge such as himself expected them to pay for at lest their first time coming back to work and then and only then would the Society think about paying for airfare in the future. While we were there some very well do do elders came back all expenses paid. That NEVER happened to any of the rank and file JW's only those who were had money and were connected so someone at Bethel. None of those who had their way paid for needed money to get back. It really, really bothered me but I again tried not to think about it too much.

Also the very first week we were there Gill Nazoroff ( not sure if I am spelling his name right ) went on a rant saying how sick he was hearing from ones who had come back to work and then left and were struggling to make it on the outside and blaming Bethel for their problems. I so clearly remember him saying no one forced them to come and they should have counted the cost.

At the time Gill's comment really bothered me hugely but like everything I tried not to think of it and keep my blinders on like the good little JW I was raised to be.

LITS

42

1975 all over again!!!

by John Aquila in

wt study edition jan. 2015.

here is the bait:.

as the number of kingdom proclaimers increases and as we near the end of this system of things, there is an urgent need for more facilities.

life is to short

We did this in 1990. Sold everything, drove back to Brooklyn to work on 90 Sands with only what our 1984 high milled used Honda Civic could hold. The high miles came from driving 35,000 miles a year in the county pioneering. It was the same push back than with the same wordage in the magazines and from the stage.

What the car could hold was all we had to our name. We gave up everything. Two and a half year latter it was goodbye hope you make it somewhere but expect nothing from us,, don't let the door hit you in the butt. We took a vow of poverty, gave up some of the best money earning years of our life, years that cannot be replaced.

We came back to the congregation and everyone treated us like we were stupid, dumb and lower than scum for being so stupid as to not have jobs and a place to live. NO ONE HELPED US AT ALL. I totally felt like everyone in the "truth" felt we were idiots.

We did have a few elders offer us jobs working for them minimum wage which was $ 4.00 an hour where we were. $32.00 a day or $640.00 a month. Just to get a cheep rental was $800.00 a month.

It was so scary and terrifying. I was still a believer stupidly and I prayed and prayed and prayed my brains out. NOTHING from Jehovah. I worked three jobs and my husband got a full time job so much for going back into pioneering like we were told to do from Bethel.

All I can say is these stores are either made up or those people are in for a huge, massive let down.

LITS